








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 576 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 349 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




87 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3892 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,616 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3639 | 42% |
| Smokes | 1012 | 12% |
| HE Grenades | 2046 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1919 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $850,473 of utility $94 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 153 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | QRick | 46% | 78 |
| #2 | Crazy Mike | 46% | 59 |
| #3 | Nitch_zzZZ | 45% | 44 |
| #4 | Meow | 40% | 416 |
| #5 | Bacon_Man20 | 35% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Crazy Mike | 46% | 59 |
| #3 | Nitch_zzZZ | 45% | 44 |
| #4 | Meow | 40% | 416 |
| #5 | Bacon_Man20 | 35% | 48 |
| #6 | CripticDecay | 31% | 64 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Meow | 40 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | Bacon_Man20 | 27 | 0.0295 |
| #3 | QRick | 22 | 0.0140 |
| #4 | Nitch_zzZZ | 15 | 0.0177 |
| #5 | Crazy Mike | 4 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Meow | 438 | 0.05 | 13 min |
| #2 | Crazy Mike | 128 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #3 | QRick | 110 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #4 | Nitch_zzZZ | 108 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #5 | Bacon_Man20 | 79 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Crazy Mike | +3.94 | 63 | 49 |
| #2 | QRick | +1.25 | 38 | 39 |
| #3 | Nitch_zzZZ | +0.95 | 28 | 46 |
| #4 | Jedi | +0.14 | 26 | 59 |
| #5 | Bacon_Man20 | -1.75 | 29 | 43 |





