








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 159 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Premier | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1188 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,535 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 840 | 24% |
| Smokes | 966 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 828 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 901 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $665,527 of utility $206 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 128 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pivot | 78% | 9 |
| #2 | eupivot | 72% | 25 |
| #3 | Aurora | 60% | 30 |
| #4 | 𝓐utismForPresident! | 56% | 81 |
| #5 | ♡ Lambi ♡ | 52% | 154 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | ♡ Lambi ♡ | 52% | 154 |
| #6 | DRAGON | 43% | 53 |
| #7 | KitKatMan | 43% | 54 |
| #8 | ChildishMikebino | 33% | 9 |
| #9 | Lord Jagg | 33% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KitKatMan | 8 | 0.0071 |
| #2 | 𝓐utismForPresident! | 6 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | DRAGON | 6 | 0.0057 |
| #4 | ♡ Lambi ♡ | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | Aurora | 1 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝓐utismForPresident! | 337 | 0.21 | 7 min |
| #2 | ♡ Lambi ♡ | 247 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #3 | DRAGON | 129 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #4 | KitKatMan | 99 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #5 | Aurora | 52 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♡ Lambi ♡ | +5.16 | 86 | 58 |
| #2 | Pivot | +1.54 | 74 | 45 |
| #3 | eupivot | +1.49 | 72 | 15 |
| #4 | 𝓐utismForPresident! | -0.32 | 69 | 60 |
| #5 | KitKatMan | -0.66 | 61 | 56 |





