








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1172 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 573 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 113 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




45 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6270 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 31,725 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8711 | 27% |
| Smokes | 7854 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 9635 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 5525 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,838,126 of utility $108 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2003 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | 𝕮 𝖍 𝖔 𝖎 𝖝 | 45% | 62 |
| #8 | Victastisch | 45% | 112 |
| #9 | MicKle | 44% | 85 |
| #10 | Anna Aal | 42% | 55 |
| #11 | d0m3_ | 42% | 48 |





