








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 70 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Train | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Premier | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1543 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,150 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1293 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1305 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1039 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1513 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $604,561 of utility $156 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 18 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | elq | 70% | 10 |
| #2 | Phenom | 67% | 30 |
| #3 | Suola | 67% | 33 |
| #4 | ✪Lusu | 65% | 23 |
| #5 | trax | 63% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | L4wrenceb0b | 6 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | timppati | 4 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | Phenom | 3 | 0.0050 |
| #4 | Bara | 2 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | taBq. | 2 | 0.0079 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | timppati | 394 | 0.14 | 10 min |
| #2 | L4wrenceb0b | 355 | 0.10 | 10 min |
| #3 | Lar3z ツ | 140 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #4 | Bara | 116 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #5 | trax | 114 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | L4wrenceb0b | +4.63 | 84 | 64 |
| #2 | timppati | +0.81 | 63 | 63 |
| #3 | elq | +0.47 | 61 | 67 |
| #4 | aseredius | +0.16 | 73 | 56 |
| #5 | Lar3z ツ | +0.08 | 79 | 56 |





