








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 8 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 164 matches | ||
| Faceit | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2274 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,785 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1306 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1522 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1692 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1265 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $826,763 of utility $154 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | ✪ M1ke | 53% | 30 |
| #5 | unihox | 53% | 226 |
| #6 | klatilsons | 53% | 179 |
| #7 | GreenFox | 51% | 75 |
| #8 | pakofka jr. | 50% | 109 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ M1ke | +2.70 | 77 | 68 |
| #2 | klatilsons | +0.98 | 60 | 71 |
| #3 | unihox | +0.58 | 67 | 71 |
| #4 | Vander | +0.25 | 62 | 55 |
| #5 | pakofka jr. | -1.01 | 57 | 61 |





