








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 556 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 164 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 79 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 56 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3724 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,956 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2892 | 24% |
| Smokes | 3293 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 3157 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2614 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,154,245 of utility $155 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 17 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | maniax | 56% | 226 |
| #2 | Neraly | 56% | 254 |
| #3 | eQix | 54% | 219 |
| #4 | FRiDGE™ | 52% | 244 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | maniax | 56% | 226 |
| #2 | Neraly | 56% | 254 |
| #3 | eQix | 54% | 219 |
| #4 | FRiDGE™ | 52% | 244 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eQix | 18 | 0.0041 |
| #2 | Neraly | 9 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | FRiDGE™ | 5 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | maniax | 4 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eQix | 1101 | 0.25 | 31 min |
| #2 | Neraly | 772 | 0.15 | 20 min |
| #3 | maniax | 694 | 0.15 | 16 min |
| #4 | FRiDGE™ | 289 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | maniax | +1.38 | 84 | 64 |
| #2 | Benyweny | +1.07 | 80 | 67 |
| #3 | eQix | +0.02 | 67 | 79 |
| #4 | FRiDGE™ | -1.40 | 63 | 44 |
| #5 | Neraly | -1.89 | 64 | 62 |





