








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 144 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 87 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1221 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,846 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1697 | 35% |
| Smokes | 1254 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1241 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 654 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $176,855 of utility $72 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 48 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Devil Cat | 70% | 10 |
| #2 | ✪ HunchoG | 56% | 36 |
| #3 | Intoxicated Dad | 53% | 75 |
| #4 | Roy💮 | 53% | 40 |
| #5 | Keth | 45% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Devil Cat | 70% | 10 |
| #2 | ✪ HunchoG | 56% | 36 |
| #3 | Intoxicated Dad | 53% | 75 |
| #4 | Roy💮 | 53% | 40 |
| #5 | Keth | 45% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ HunchoG | 4 | 0.0051 |
| #2 | Devil Cat | 3 | 0.0141 |
| #3 | Intoxicated Dad | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | Keth | 1 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ HunchoG | 91 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #2 | Devil Cat | 32 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #3 | Intoxicated Dad | 31 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #4 | Roy💮 | 28 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #5 | Keth | 23 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Roy💮 | +1.76 | 69 | 41 |
| #2 | sewpermike | +0.88 | 72 | 67 |
| #3 | Intoxicated Dad | +0.52 | 78 | 34 |
| #4 | Devil Cat | -0.29 | 32 | 63 |
| #5 | ✪ HunchoG | -0.95 | 74 | 63 |





