








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 77 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 194 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1922 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,674 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1218 | 16% |
| Smokes | 2665 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 1875 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1916 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $820,991 of utility $141 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 268 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Herr BønGoos | 68% | 25 |
| #2 | Drus | 52% | 52 |
| #3 | Ostepop | 50% | 54 |
| #4 | Tagmeister Mr. Wilm✌ | 47% | 98 |
| #5 | Minimittet | 47% | 133 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Herr BønGoos | 68% | 25 |
| #2 | Drus | 52% | 52 |
| #3 | Ostepop | 50% | 54 |
| #4 | Tagmeister Mr. Wilm✌ | 47% | 98 |
| #5 | Minimittet | 47% | 133 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Drus | 6 | 0.0056 |
| #2 | Tagmeister Mr. Wilm✌ | 5 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | Herr BønGoos | 3 | 0.0056 |
| #4 | Minimittet | 1 | 0.0004 |
| #5 | Ostepop | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tagmeister Mr. Wilm✌ | 498 | 0.24 | 13 min |
| #2 | Drus | 166 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #3 | Minimittet | 129 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #4 | Herr BønGoos | 125 | 0.23 | 3 min |
| #5 | Ostepop | 6 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Herr BønGoos | +5.02 | 75 | 64 |
| #2 | Tagmeister Mr. Wilm✌ | +4.37 | 86 | 74 |
| #3 | Eruk Snow☃ | -0.48 | 69 | 55 |
| #4 | Minimittet | -1.80 | 63 | 46 |
| #5 | Drus | -2.43 | 27 | 44 |





