








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 44 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 216 matches | ||
| Premier | 113 matches | ||
| Wingman | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4594 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,991 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5820 | 32% |
| Smokes | 5365 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2530 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 4276 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,004,178 of utility $111 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 328 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Kebablee | 48% | 97 |
| #8 | Hi there :D | 48% | 118 |
| #9 | Eruk Snow☃ | 47% | 98 |
| #10 | Ostepop | 43% | 23 |
| #11 | .tv/mOQIEN_ | 41% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Drus | 5 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | Eruk Snow☃ | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | Hi there :D | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | Ostepop | 1 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | atari | 364 | 0.27 | 10 min |
| #2 | Drus | 355 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #3 | sito | 188 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #4 | Hi there :D | 174 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #5 | Kebablee | 169 | 0.08 | 4 min |





