








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 559 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 212 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 188 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 108 matches | ||
| Premier | 93 matches | ||
| Wingman | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




127 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5287 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,875 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2966 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1679 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 2487 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2743 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,269,468 of utility $88 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2856 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wacks | 46% | 241 |
| #2 | AmishGamer3 | 44% | 100 |
| #3 | Ceeweed | 43% | 201 |
| #4 | Ahren | 41% | 269 |
| #5 | Mayh3w | 38% | 292 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Ahren | 41% | 269 |
| #5 | Mayh3w | 38% | 292 |
| #6 | TheNormiesCafe | 34% | 126 |
| #7 | DDT*GARFIELD | 33% | 105 |
| #8 | JDCalvary14 | 30% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mayh3w | 59 | 0.0101 |
| #2 | Ahren | 45 | 0.0085 |
| #3 | Wacks | 30 | 0.0062 |
| #4 | Ceeweed | 30 | 0.0075 |
| #5 | TheNormiesCafe | 9 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ahren | 1388 | 0.26 | 39 min |
| #2 | Mayh3w | 637 | 0.11 | 14 min |
| #3 | Wacks | 442 | 0.09 | 11 min |
| #4 | Ceeweed | 389 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #5 | AmishGamer3 | 58 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ahren | +4.17 | 54 | 76 |
| #2 | Xathrid | +0.86 | 48 | 44 |
| #3 | Mayh3w | -0.58 | 40 | 56 |
| #4 | Ceeweed | -0.66 | 45 | 46 |
| #5 | AmishGamer3 | -1.34 | 43 | 21 |





