








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 216 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 240 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1709 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,028 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 851 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1292 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1672 | 42% |
| Molotovs | 213 | 5% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,118,452 of utility $166 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 191 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Lawie | 45% | 111 |
| #7 | Lawieke | 43% | 106 |
| #8 | Aaroneke1 | 43% | 67 |
| #9 | ✵฿𝕚G ва∂ 𝕄☆C 𝕺₳∂∂𝕪 ₩☯ĿŦ⭕⃤ | 40% | 138 |
| #10 | Smrgol | 39% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lawieke | 456 | 0.20 | 12 min |
| #2 | Lawie | 379 | 0.17 | 11 min |
| #3 | lord tiki | 136 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #4 | Mister Cookie | 112 | 0.03 | 3 min |
| #5 | mixam | 47 | 0.06 | 1 min |





