








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 115 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 108 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1276 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,617 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2842 | 43% |
| Smokes | 2558 | 39% |
| HE Grenades | 510 | 8% |
| Molotovs | 707 | 11% |
Our logs show you have wasted $74,866 of utility $19 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 91 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | ✵฿𝕚G ва∂ 𝕄☆C 𝕺₳∂∂𝕪 ₩☯ĿŦ⭕⃤ | 48% | 86 |
| #5 | Smrgol | 48% | 21 |
| #6 | Mister Cookie | 46% | 56 |
| #7 | Tammiej | 43% | 106 |
| #8 | Aaroneke1 | 35% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lord tiki | 58 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #2 | Tammiej | 52 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #3 | Smrgol | 28 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | Mister Cookie | 20 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #5 | Aaroneke1 | 19 | 0.05 | 0 min |





