








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 158 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 45 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
685 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,706 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 495 | 29% |
| Smokes | 445 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 401 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 365 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $274,929 of utility $232 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 12 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ash2k | 80% | 5 |
| #2 | zac2k | 80% | 5 |
| #3 | dim2k | 80% | 5 |
| #4 | Sileo | 75% | 4 |
| #5 | Natick ☆★✯★☆ | 67% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MaYeRs | 3 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | ash2k | 1 | 0.0090 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NV19 | +3.19 | 87 | 65 |
| #2 | driz0000R'3RD" | +3.08 | 83 | 75 |
| #3 | zac2k | +2.65 | 93 | 36 |
| #4 | Sileo | +2.01 | 49 | 74 |
| #5 | singefort | +0.49 | 63 | 83 |





