








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 60 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 52 matches | ||
| Premier | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
440 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,477 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1071 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1125 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 561 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 720 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $58,553 of utility $48 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 10 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SPRAY ✖ ✗ ✘ | 100% | 3 |
| #2 | ALBA | 100% | 3 |
| #3 | DR.MANHATTAN | 75% | 4 |
| #4 | MagicBaKy | 67% | 3 |
| #5 | Getsuu | 67% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bluMz- | 74 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #2 | NV19 | 44 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #3 | FARIDZ | 39 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #4 | DARTS | 39 | 0.24 | 1 min |
| #5 | TomLELE | 28 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TomLELE | +4.21 | 91 | 62 |
| #2 | NV19 | +2.55 | 91 | 62 |
| #3 | DR.MANHATTAN | +1.98 | 59 | 65 |
| #4 | MagicBaKy | +1.83 | 48 | 69 |
| #5 | Getsuu | +1.51 | 58 | 66 |





