








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 334 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 166 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 46 matches | ||
| Faceit | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




83 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4500 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,153 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5234 | 47% |
| Smokes | 3152 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2038 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 729 | 7% |
Our logs show you have wasted $933,294 of utility $128 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 544 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | K3v | 66% | 32 |
| #2 | ヌースカイネン | 55% | 20 |
| #3 | BugsBunny_ | 53% | 32 |
| #4 | TOOOBIAKI | 51% | 140 |
| #5 | LakuLehma | 49% | 121 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | sõll♿ | 46% | 141 |
| #7 | AJAR NJRT | 45% | 55 |
| #8 | Haisuloom | 45% | 29 |
| #9 | T | 44% | 85 |
| #10 | Goatest | 35% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TOOOBIAKI | 23 | 0.0078 |
| #2 | T | 15 | 0.0086 |
| #3 | sõll♿ | 12 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | Haisuloom | 10 | 0.0156 |
| #5 | LakuLehma | 9 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TOOOBIAKI | 717 | 0.24 | 17 min |
| #2 | LakuLehma | 339 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #3 | Haisuloom | 263 | 0.41 | 4 min |
| #4 | sõll♿ | 228 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #5 | T | 131 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | marx | +2.50 | 86 | 60 |
| #2 | K3v | +2.34 | 79 | 52 |
| #3 | ヌースカイネン | +1.59 | 70 | 55 |
| #4 | TOOOBIAKI | +0.75 | 83 | 56 |
| #5 | T | -0.59 | 60 | 43 |





