








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 46 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 48 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
731 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,606 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 802 | 31% |
| Smokes | 587 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 645 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 572 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $136,408 of utility $105 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 26 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Doppler | 81% | 16 |
| #2 | B-Dog | 75% | 4 |
| #3 | Melereint | 73% | 15 |
| #4 | Blank | 69% | 29 |
| #5 | BIG MAC | 68% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #17 | Rick Sanchez | 38% | 16 |
| #18 | AZR | 33% | 3 |
| #19 | jeyrazz | 33% | 3 |
| #20 | vaC- | 27% | 11 |
| #21 | kript | 0% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Doppler | 1 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | AZR | 1 | 0.0164 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Blank | 89 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #2 | BIG MAC | 72 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #3 | Melereint | 60 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #4 | 👤 | 60 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| #5 | ildvnv | 43 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Melereint | +4.52 | 95 | 65 |
| #2 | Tobin [M] | +3.75 | 90 | 56 |
| #3 | 👤 | +2.88 | 88 | 71 |
| #4 | macendoes #Lama | +2.57 | 75 | 66 |
| #5 | Cross | +2.25 | 50 | 63 |





