








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 14 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 29 matches | ||
| Faceit | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
557 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,548 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 455 | 29% |
| Smokes | 367 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 442 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 284 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $287,430 of utility $165 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 13 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gracek | 8 | 0.0091 |
| #2 | radosław | 8 | 0.0112 |
| #3 | zuBidaking | 5 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | Aquaree | 2 | 0.0050 |
| #5 | OFFLINE | 2 | 0.0053 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | radosław | 88 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #2 | gracek | 56 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #3 | OFFLINE | 52 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #4 | zuBidaking | 31 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #5 | Aquaree | 27 | 0.07 | 1 min |





