








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 783 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 201 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 163 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 69 matches | ||
| Wingman | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




117 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6428 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,651 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6371 | 32% |
| Smokes | 3655 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 4339 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 5286 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,000,529 of utility $84 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3388 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dank | 52% | 253 |
| #2 | Setrecall | 51% | 176 |
| #3 | Yuxii ã‚· | 45% | 49 |
| #4 | Flick | 44% | 119 |
| #5 | xRaGe | 43% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dank | 52% | 253 |
| #2 | Setrecall | 51% | 176 |
| #3 | Yuxii ã‚· | 45% | 49 |
| #4 | Flick | 44% | 119 |
| #5 | xRaGe | 43% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Flick | 62 | 0.0264 |
| #2 | dank | 53 | 0.0106 |
| #3 | xRaGe | 7 | 0.0066 |
| #4 | Setrecall | 6 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | Yuxii ã‚· | 5 | 0.0047 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dank | 741 | 0.15 | 18 min |
| #2 | Yuxii ã‚· | 268 | 0.25 | 6 min |
| #3 | Flick | 158 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #4 | Setrecall | 59 | 0.02 | 2 min |
| #5 | xRaGe | 52 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Setrecall | +2.03 | 65 | 23 |
| #2 | 🗲🗲 ALMARRI 🗲🗲 | +1.84 | 52 | 55 |
| #3 | Yuxii ã‚· | -0.42 | 28 | 69 |
| #4 | Flick | -1.04 | 64 | 23 |
| #5 | dank | -2.20 | 44 | 49 |





