








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 5 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 54 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1508 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,562 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 524 | 20% |
| Smokes | 454 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 818 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 766 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $635,901 of utility $187 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 135 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | h1ro | 76% | 17 |
| #2 | DMN- | 61% | 31 |
| #3 | _daisy_merollin | 61% | 33 |
| #4 | Norbert | 52% | 25 |
| #5 | Qubble | 48% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | DMN- | 61% | 31 |
| #3 | _daisy_merollin | 61% | 33 |
| #4 | Norbert | 52% | 25 |
| #5 | Qubble | 48% | 23 |
| #6 | Otzinator | 44% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Norbert | 4 | 0.0080 |
| #2 | Otzinator | 2 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | _daisy_merollin | 1 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | DMN- | 1 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | Qubble | 1 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DMN- | 110 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #2 | Norbert | 62 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #3 | h1ro | 29 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | _daisy_merollin | 28 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | Otzinator | 28 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | h1ro | +3.25 | 56 | 75 |
| #2 | Fetzi the funny Landmine | +2.01 | 64 | 39 |
| #3 | DMN- | +0.97 | 54 | 65 |
| #4 | Norbert | -0.16 | 45 | 74 |
| #5 | Qubble | -1.86 | 50 | 23 |





