








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 207 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 113 matches | ||
| Faceit | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 44 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2002 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,059 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3826 | 25% |
| Smokes | 3530 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 3860 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 3843 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $488,480 of utility $75 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 53 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TOSSEN | 52% | 33 |
| #2 | ALLAH AQUADOR | 50% | 28 |
| #3 | qanda1337 | 49% | 106 |
| #4 | ✯𝑫𝒂𝒅𝒅𝒚✯ | 47% | 76 |
| #5 | 10ToesDown | 46% | 138 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 10ToesDown | 8 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | qanda1337 | 6 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | Bleifus | 4 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | ALLAH AQUADOR | 4 | 0.0070 |
| #5 | Bertel | 3 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 10ToesDown | 681 | 0.24 | 18 min |
| #2 | Bertel | 323 | 0.17 | 9 min |
| #3 | BJ3RR1NG | 259 | 0.23 | 8 min |
| #4 | qanda1337 | 195 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #5 | Bleifus | 185 | 0.13 | 4 min |





