








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 32 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 11 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
333 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,059 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 325 | 31% |
| Smokes | 252 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 225 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 257 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $80,666 of utility $100 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | my grammas a scammer | 100% | 4 |
| #2 | Toastiee | 70% | 10 |
| #3 | Zahzi | 67% | 3 |
| #4 | PhizX | 67% | 3 |
| #5 | Mez | 67% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PlugMeInPlz | 5 | 0.0122 |
| #2 | Colt | 1 | 0.0042 |
| #3 | my grammas a scammer | 1 | 0.0137 |
| #4 | Zahzi | 1 | 0.0179 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Toastiee | 32 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #2 | PlugMeInPlz | 31 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| #3 | Colt | 28 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #4 | system | 26 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #5 | Zahzi | 23 | 0.41 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Latinos | +4.97 | 81 | 33 |
| #2 | Colt | +4.89 | 98 | 44 |
| #3 | system | +4.35 | 87 | 49 |
| #4 | PhizX | +1.69 | 76 | 64 |
| #5 | t i c t a c | +0.41 | 78 | 57 |





