








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 114 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 361 matches | ||
| Faceit | 20 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




65 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3891 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,614 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1155 | 12% |
| Smokes | 3161 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 3176 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 2122 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,749,006 of utility $180 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 266 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Clover | 50% | 24 |
| #2 | FiEnD | 50% | 34 |
| #3 | [ GWP ] CARLOS THE MEXICAN | 46% | 26 |
| #4 | [ GWP ] Grizz | 31% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Clover | 50% | 24 |
| #2 | FiEnD | 50% | 34 |
| #3 | [ GWP ] CARLOS THE MEXICAN | 46% | 26 |
| #4 | [ GWP ] Grizz | 31% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Clover | 3 | 0.0055 |
| #2 | [ GWP ] CARLOS THE MEXICAN | 2 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | FiEnD | 1 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | [ GWP ] Grizz | 1 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Clover | 61 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #2 | FiEnD | 57 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #3 | [ GWP ] Grizz | 35 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | [ GWP ] CARLOS THE MEXICAN | 10 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Clover | +3.67 | 64 | 72 |
| #2 | [ GWP ] CARLOS THE MEXICAN | +1.19 | 71 | 33 |
| #3 | eQ. [GWP] CivicR6 | +0.78 | 48 | 36 |
| #4 | FiEnD | -1.57 | 42 | 71 |
| #5 | [ GWP ] Grizz | -2.95 | 57 | 39 |





