








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 799 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 401 matches | ||
| Premier | 250 matches | ||
| Renown | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6524 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 30,934 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8131 | 26% |
| Smokes | 7654 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 7171 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 7978 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,657,273 of utility $94 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1742 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Aqpi | 61% | 147 |
| #2 | 𝖝 Meister | 59% | 232 |
| #3 | Geod5 | 55% | 202 |
| #4 | Tango | 55% | 231 |
| #5 | MacDonald | 53% | 143 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | 𝖝 Meister | 59% | 232 |
| #3 | Geod5 | 55% | 202 |
| #4 | Tango | 55% | 231 |
| #5 | MacDonald | 53% | 143 |
| #6 | Sebrof | 51% | 77 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝖝 Meister | 7 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | Tango | 7 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | Geod5 | 7 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | MacDonald | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | Aqpi | 2 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Geod5 | 1482 | 0.34 | 42 min |
| #2 | Tango | 915 | 0.19 | 21 min |
| #3 | 𝖝 Meister | 691 | 0.14 | 17 min |
| #4 | Aqpi | 321 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #5 | Sebrof | 303 | 0.19 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Aqpi | +3.25 | 88 | 59 |
| #2 | Geod5 | +2.02 | 84 | 70 |
| #3 | 𝖝 Meister | +0.90 | 64 | 56 |
| #4 | Sebrof | +0.22 | 75 | 66 |
| #5 | MacDonald | +0.22 | 71 | 62 |





