








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 786 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 153 matches | ||
| Premier | 103 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3951 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,153 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1609 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1925 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1664 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1955 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,484,328 of utility $222 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 288 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MickeyBoy | 69% | 32 |
| #2 | 𝖝 Meister | 61% | 109 |
| #3 | Scarhands | 61% | 147 |
| #4 | Tango | 60% | 88 |
| #5 | MacDonald | 60% | 60 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | F///CKELMANN | 59% | 51 |
| #7 | Strosx | 58% | 24 |
| #8 | kett | 58% | 64 |
| #9 | Geod5 | 58% | 128 |
| #10 | Schnapp | 58% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Scarhands | 3 | 0.0009 |
| #2 | kett | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | Geod5 | 1 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Geod5 | 769 | 0.29 | 22 min |
| #2 | Scarhands | 381 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #3 | Tango | 357 | 0.19 | 8 min |
| #4 | 𝖝 Meister | 320 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #5 | F///CKELMANN | 202 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Aqpi | +3.42 | 87 | 57 |
| #2 | Geod5 | +0.82 | 85 | 70 |
| #3 | F///CKELMANN | +0.35 | 68 | 66 |
| #4 | 𝖝 Meister | -0.59 | 63 | 60 |
| #5 | MacDonald | -0.77 | 75 | 55 |





