










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 148 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 7 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
272 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 683 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 133 | 19% |
| Smokes | 167 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 206 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 177 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $142,150 of utility $266 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 39 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | GFozzy | 40% | 5 |
| #9 | Shadyeski | 33% | 3 |
| #10 | ファラオ | 33% | 3 |
| #11 | NineSpot[st] | 33% | 6 |
| #12 | JesusFreak | 29% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tsm𝔸ck | 3 | 0.0094 |
| #2 | GFozzy | 1 | 0.0090 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tsm𝔸ck | 42 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #2 | JesusFreak | 20 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #3 | Shia "The Songman" Stylez | 13 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| #4 | sinEkal | 13 | 0.15 | 0 min |
| #5 | NineSpot[st] | 12 | 0.10 | 0 min |





