








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 137 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 95 matches | ||
| Faceit | 73 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1909 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,441 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1057 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1409 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 836 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1139 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $915,495 of utility $191 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 35 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fANshu- | 67% | 30 |
| #2 | Feedalee | 64% | 33 |
| #3 | Azusa | 63% | 30 |
| #4 | Kelm | 63% | 35 |
| #5 | Señor Vaca | 62% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Kelm | 63% | 35 |
| #5 | Señor Vaca | 62% | 29 |
| #6 | 2023 | 62% | 21 |
| #7 | czy♡ | 58% | 19 |
| #8 | K0Mski | 50% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Azusa | 6 | 0.0091 |
| #2 | Señor Vaca | 2 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | 2023 | 2 | 0.0045 |
| #4 | Kelm | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | Feedalee | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kelm | 233 | 0.30 | 6 min |
| #2 | fANshu- | 160 | 0.24 | 3 min |
| #3 | Feedalee | 145 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #4 | Señor Vaca | 132 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| #5 | Azusa | 78 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Azusa | +4.33 | 88 | 65 |
| #2 | Feedalee | +3.31 | 89 | 64 |
| #3 | K0Mski | +2.59 | 73 | 43 |
| #4 | 2023 | +2.49 | 79 | 58 |
| #5 | czy♡ | +2.02 | 90 | 49 |





