








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 52 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
354 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,179 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 490 | 42% |
| Smokes | 242 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 252 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 195 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $110,279 of utility $157 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 23 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JeyM1 | 100% | 2 |
| #2 | McBobb | 100% | 4 |
| #3 | Emieeeeel | 78% | 9 |
| #4 | Bot Ben | 67% | 9 |
| #5 | Darktrollmaster | 60% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Emieeeeel | 78% | 9 |
| #4 | Bot Ben | 67% | 9 |
| #5 | Darktrollmaster | 60% | 5 |
| #6 | PuNcT. | 60% | 10 |
| #7 | P4tch³s | 57% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Emieeeeel | 3 | 0.0169 |
| #2 | PuNcT. | 2 | 0.0104 |
| #3 | JeyM1 | 1 | 0.0204 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Darktrollmaster | 42 | 0.44 | 1 min |
| #2 | Bot Ben | 40 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| #3 | PuNcT. | 36 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #4 | P4tch³s | 22 | 0.18 | 0 min |
| #5 | Emieeeeel | 20 | 0.11 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | iceskiy | +2.87 | 67 | 60 |
| #2 | Emieeeeel | +2.80 | 96 | 59 |
| #3 | JeyM1 | +2.14 | 70 | 72 |
| #4 | McBobb | +1.62 | 46 | 48 |
| #5 | PuNcT. | +0.55 | 59 | 57 |





