








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 7 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
400 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 954 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 463 | 49% |
| Smokes | 251 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 105 | 11% |
| Molotovs | 135 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $98,253 of utility $126 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | evvr | 80% | 5 |
| #2 | mochi | 78% | 9 |
| #3 | Finny | 73% | 11 |
| #4 | kermit ♥ | 67% | 3 |
| #5 | EpicFailsInfinit | 64% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Finny | 3 | 0.0130 |
| #2 | Bubbles | 2 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | EpicFailsInfinit | 1 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | AYO CHILL | 1 | 0.0040 |
| #5 | evvr | 1 | 0.0101 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EpicFailsInfinit | +4.76 | 72 | 42 |
| #2 | Bubbles | +2.20 | 60 | 58 |
| #3 | evvr | +2.18 | 65 | 49 |
| #4 | kermit ♥ | +1.69 | 56 | 19 |
| #5 | oriasine | +1.20 | 79 | 45 |





