








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 494 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 372 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2440 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,877 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3894 | 33% |
| Smokes | 2856 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2778 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2349 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,092,643 of utility $228 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 820 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | petethecreet | 65% | 23 |
| #2 | Зураб | 56% | 73 |
| #3 | smol ting | 45% | 109 |
| #4 | Mishka | 44% | 84 |
| #5 | FlapJack :) | 43% | 221 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | smol ting | 11 | 0.0047 |
| #2 | FlapJack :) | 8 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | Зураб | 6 | 0.0038 |
| #4 | Mishka | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | Wiz | 2 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FlapJack :) | 561 | 0.12 | 13 min |
| #2 | smol ting | 307 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #3 | Wiz | 146 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #4 | Зураб | 106 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | Mishka | 101 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | petethecreet | +3.19 | 84 | 36 |
| #2 | smol ting | +2.47 | 73 | 60 |
| #3 | Wiz | +2.23 | 61 | 60 |
| #4 | Зураб | +0.29 | 56 | 24 |
| #5 | FlapJack :) | +0.13 | 42 | 56 |





