








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 203 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 173 matches | ||
| Premier | 156 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3987 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,810 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3772 | 27% |
| Smokes | 4061 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2309 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 3668 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,075,066 of utility $120 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 225 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | -dR- FroϟtBite | 50% | 141 |
| #8 | -eckz | 48% | 139 |
| #9 | BiggyJ | 48% | 48 |
| #10 | TheRainbowpixels | 46% | 142 |
| #11 | Giju | 35% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -dR- FroϟtBite | 11 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | Aerexon | 10 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | TheRainbowpixels | 9 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | loots1 | 7 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | -eckz | 3 | 0.0010 |





