








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 130 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 360 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




62 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3996 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,884 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5978 | 40% |
| Smokes | 3120 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 5144 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 642 | 4% |
Our logs show you have wasted $415,030 of utility $43 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 98 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bill the Lizard | 237 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| #2 | da middy | 132 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #3 | spunky fingers | 124 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #4 | Ground Score Boofer | 117 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #5 | chknfsh | 71 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | da middy | +3.35 | 82 | 63 |
| #2 | chknfsh | +2.98 | 77 | 58 |
| #3 | bong the rip | +0.57 | 64 | 55 |
| #4 | spunky fingers | +0.02 | 62 | 57 |
| #5 | Bill the Lizard | -1.20 | 51 | 48 |





