








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 25 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 88 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1288 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,841 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1334 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1137 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1268 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1102 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $305,658 of utility $81 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 14 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | da middy | 85% | 13 |
| #2 | chknfsh | 64% | 14 |
| #3 | Ground Score Boofer | 46% | 71 |
| #4 | bong the rip | 46% | 87 |
| #5 | Bill the Lizard | 44% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bong the rip | 301 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #2 | SexualAssaultRifle | 82 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #3 | Ground Score Boofer | 42 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #4 | da middy | 39 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #5 | chknfsh | 25 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chknfsh | +5.25 | 79 | 53 |
| #2 | da middy | +4.71 | 82 | 68 |
| #3 | bong the rip | +1.75 | 68 | 55 |
| #4 | spunky fingers | +0.54 | 57 | 55 |
| #5 | Ground Score Boofer | -0.40 | 69 | 26 |





