










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 14 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
219 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 462 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 66 | 14% |
| Smokes | 131 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 116 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 149 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $116,583 of utility $249 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 131 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ProPlayerEurop | 67% | 3 |
| #2 | XVW | 50% | 4 |
| #3 | ✪ YaBoyNiggWard♿ | 50% | 12 |
| #4 | free.tory.pls | 50% | 22 |
| #5 | Alone in puh | 40% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ProPlayerEurop | 67% | 3 |
| #2 | XVW | 50% | 4 |
| #3 | ✪ YaBoyNiggWard♿ | 50% | 12 |
| #4 | free.tory.pls | 50% | 22 |
| #5 | Alone in puh | 40% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ProPlayerEurop | 2 | 0.0274 |
| #2 | free.tory.pls | 1 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | Alone in puh | 1 | 0.0083 |
| #4 | XVW | 1 | 0.0106 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ YaBoyNiggWard♿ | 46 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #2 | Alone in puh | 36 | 0.30 | 1 min |
| #3 | free.tory.pls | 30 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | ProPlayerEurop | 13 | 0.18 | 0 min |
| #5 | XVW | 7 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | XVW | +2.27 | 70 | 59 |
| #2 | ✪ YaBoyNiggWard♿ | +1.77 | 68 | 56 |
| #3 | free.tory.pls | +1.00 | 78 | 48 |
| #4 | I WILL FUCK YOU UP | +0.43 | 68 | 47 |
| #5 | ProPlayerEurop | -0.48 | 51 | 22 |





