








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 789 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 231 matches | ||
| Faceit | 176 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 42 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6502 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,783 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5623 | 23% |
| Smokes | 6814 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 5809 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 6537 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,160,654 of utility $90 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 57 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | gaulf | 56% | 75 |
| #11 | PRIEST64 | 54% | 93 |
| #12 | nnikkitine; ♡ | 50% | 101 |
| #13 | ✪ refleX | 45% | 51 |
| #14 | boop. | 33% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝓑𝓪𝓲𝓽 ッ | 4 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | PRIEST64 | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | MASTEROFDESTRUCTION8[dgaf] | 2 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | nnikkitine; ♡ | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | deLirious | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xDaddyDeadx | 681 | 0.24 | 18 min |
| #2 | MASTEROFDESTRUCTION8[dgaf] | 321 | 0.34 | 8 min |
| #3 | gaulf | 313 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| #4 | nnikkitine; ♡ | 264 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #5 | KWANSTA415#dgaf | 206 | 0.29 | 6 min |





