








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 400 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 95 matches | ||
| Faceit | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2566 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,164 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3548 | 32% |
| Smokes | 3541 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1772 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 2303 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $687,111 of utility $125 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 168 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | soundblind | 80% | 25 |
| #2 | farooqoq | 64% | 80 |
| #3 | -Pax | 62% | 29 |
| #4 | Hyper_Tophat | 60% | 187 |
| #5 | PRIME` | 59% | 167 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | -Pax | 62% | 29 |
| #4 | Hyper_Tophat | 60% | 187 |
| #5 | PRIME` | 59% | 167 |
| #6 | parchie | 59% | 73 |
| #7 | Makzwell | 56% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PRIME` | 23 | 0.0066 |
| #2 | Hyper_Tophat | 8 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | farooqoq | 8 | 0.0049 |
| #4 | Makzwell | 6 | 0.0066 |
| #5 | parchie | 2 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PRIME` | 1168 | 0.34 | 27 min |
| #2 | Hyper_Tophat | 771 | 0.20 | 17 min |
| #3 | farooqoq | 352 | 0.21 | 9 min |
| #4 | Makzwell | 135 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #5 | parchie | 134 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sno | +4.11 | 81 | 71 |
| #2 | -Pax | +1.41 | 74 | 78 |
| #3 | farooqoq | +0.93 | 83 | 67 |
| #4 | parchie | +0.42 | 84 | 62 |
| #5 | Hyper_Tophat | +0.18 | 68 | 67 |





