








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 218 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 107 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1929 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,436 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1533 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1684 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1178 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 2041 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,030,286 of utility $145 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 531 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Tthanskis | 46% | 159 |
| #8 | Big China Dream | 46% | 48 |
| #9 | Mr. Professor | 46% | 59 |
| #10 | MaNasty | 42% | 33 |
| #11 | Blue | 41% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Big Daddy Meat Tree | 25 | 0.0074 |
| #2 | MaNasty | 21 | 0.0297 |
| #3 | Dirty Cheter | 12 | 0.0085 |
| #4 | Tthanskis | 11 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | Wind Turbine | 9 | 0.0074 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Big Daddy Meat Tree | 572 | 0.17 | 15 min |
| #2 | Tthanskis | 276 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #3 | Dirty Cheter | 243 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #4 | WaifuMane | 132 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #5 | Wind Turbine | 126 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wind Turbine | +3.92 | 76 | 59 |
| #2 | Dirty Cheter | +3.15 | 82 | 69 |
| #3 | Tthanskis | +2.55 | 72 | 50 |
| #4 | Whalevalanche | +2.31 | 79 | 49 |
| #5 | Big Daddy Meat Tree | +1.29 | 83 | 67 |





