








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 287 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 152 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1191 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,476 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1808 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2651 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 2501 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 516 | 7% |
Our logs show you have wasted $345,669 of utility $121 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 202 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lingunni | 55% | 44 |
| #2 | fezsada | 54% | 56 |
| #3 | irisada | 49% | 45 |
| #4 | Lost | 48% | 132 |
| #5 | Goofy | 48% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Henta1 Lord | 15 | 0.0090 |
| #2 | KK-BOOM | 13 | 0.0187 |
| #3 | m1 | 9 | 0.0224 |
| #4 | Lost | 8 | 0.0044 |
| #5 | Buskin | 5 | 0.0052 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lost | 254 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #2 | Henta1 Lord | 214 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #3 | Buskin | 149 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #4 | m1 | 86 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| #5 | irisada | 60 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cuntcrusher | +2.91 | 88 | 67 |
| #2 | m1 | +2.14 | 89 | 76 |
| #3 | Henta1 Lord | +1.35 | 63 | 55 |
| #4 | Lingunni | +1.14 | 77 | 59 |
| #5 | Lost | +0.89 | 81 | 62 |





