








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 252 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 522 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 287 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




44 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3847 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,008 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2248 | 15% |
| Smokes | 4383 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 5558 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 2819 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,900,020 of utility $201 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 209 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Q-Plan?! | 58% | 52 |
| #2 | KING JAMES | 50% | 50 |
| #3 | ♡BretterBuddy♡MBK♡ | 50% | 82 |
| #4 | MetaPod | 48% | 60 |
| #5 | KleinerGrünling | 48% | 164 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | ♡BretterBuddy♡MBK♡ | 50% | 82 |
| #4 | MetaPod | 48% | 60 |
| #5 | KleinerGrünling | 48% | 164 |
| #6 | 刀乇尺の | 37% | 54 |
| #7 | wHoosH | 36% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 刀乇尺の | 8 | 0.0074 |
| #2 | ♡BretterBuddy♡MBK♡ | 6 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | KleinerGrünling | 5 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | MetaPod | 4 | 0.0032 |
| #5 | KING JAMES | 3 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wHoosH | 115 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #2 | KleinerGrünling | 106 | 0.03 | 3 min |
| #3 | ♡BretterBuddy♡MBK♡ | 99 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #4 | 刀乇尺の | 90 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | Q-Plan?! | 87 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MetaPod | +5.03 | 65 | 53 |
| #2 | 刀乇尺の | +3.79 | 63 | 54 |
| #3 | ♡BretterBuddy♡MBK♡ | +1.98 | 57 | 45 |
| #4 | wHoosH | +0.83 | 44 | 59 |
| #5 | KleinerGrünling | +0.29 | 41 | 29 |





