








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 233 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 148 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1779 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,853 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1819 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1997 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1579 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1458 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $737,290 of utility $171 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 309 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Saucépicé | 74% | 19 |
| #2 | H. | 62% | 37 |
| #3 | clyde | 54% | 13 |
| #4 | C. | 53% | 177 |
| #5 | ylfeht. | 52% | 82 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Saucépicé | 74% | 19 |
| #2 | H. | 62% | 37 |
| #3 | clyde | 54% | 13 |
| #4 | C. | 53% | 177 |
| #5 | ylfeht. | 52% | 82 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ylfeht. | 7 | 0.0041 |
| #2 | C. | 5 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | clyde | 3 | 0.0120 |
| #4 | Saucépicé | 1 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | C. | 477 | 0.13 | 12 min |
| #2 | ylfeht. | 329 | 0.19 | 9 min |
| #3 | H. | 104 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #4 | clyde | 28 | 0.11 | 0 min |
| #5 | Saucépicé | 25 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ylfeht. | +4.22 | 87 | 70 |
| #2 | H. | +1.04 | 60 | 67 |
| #3 | W. | -0.76 | 64 | 62 |
| #4 | clyde | -1.08 | 59 | 44 |
| #5 | C. | -1.55 | 44 | 56 |





