








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 302 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 81 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3132 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,810 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3121 | 46% |
| Smokes | 1715 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 451 | 7% |
| Molotovs | 1523 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $712,982 of utility $170 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 47 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Monsta[a] | 79% | 14 |
| #2 | Thugy | 64% | 11 |
| #3 | ZkooXx | 60% | 30 |
| #4 | H. | 58% | 66 |
| #5 | C. | 56% | 106 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ZkooXx | 2 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | C. | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #3 | W. | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #4 | H. | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | Saucépicé | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ylfeht. | +4.83 | 89 | 70 |
| #2 | ZkooXx | +3.47 | 72 | 77 |
| #3 | Monsta[a] | +1.17 | 75 | 79 |
| #4 | H. | +0.95 | 61 | 68 |
| #5 | Thugy | +0.61 | 73 | 61 |





