








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 144 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 272 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2604 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,999 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3156 | 23% |
| Smokes | 3951 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 3479 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3413 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $639,414 of utility $92 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | .Yannick | 47% | 206 |
| #4 | Bull's eye | 47% | 158 |
| #5 | .T s e e G | 46% | 269 |
| #6 | Der Glizzy Gobbler | 39% | 67 |
| #7 | pineapplethefruitdude | 32% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .T s e e G | 14 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | .Yannick | 6 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | fckleberry hynn | 5 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | Der Glizzy Gobbler | 3 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | pineapplethefruitdude | 3 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .T s e e G | 1468 | 0.26 | 38 min |
| #2 | .Yannick | 871 | 0.20 | 20 min |
| #3 | fckleberry hynn | 549 | 0.15 | 15 min |
| #4 | Bull's eye | 413 | 0.12 | 11 min |
| #5 | Der Glizzy Gobbler | 235 | 0.17 | 6 min |





