








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 483 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
901 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,913 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 243 | 13% |
| Smokes | 430 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 528 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 712 | 37% |
Our logs show you have wasted $423,597 of utility $277 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 112 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | llama | 100% | 4 |
| #2 | Fox | 100% | 7 |
| #3 | GammaS | 86% | 7 |
| #4 | Cardinal | 82% | 11 |
| #5 | Lil Milk | 67% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Lil Milk | 67% | 6 |
| #6 | GOATMOO | 65% | 26 |
| #7 | Birdy | 63% | 30 |
| #8 | ZL_Zieglein | 58% | 24 |
| #9 | roniin | 20% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GOATMOO | 2 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | ZL_Zieglein | 1 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | Cardinal | 1 | 0.0045 |
| #4 | roniin | 1 | 0.0088 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GOATMOO | 102 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #2 | Birdy | 51 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #3 | ZL_Zieglein | 49 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | roniin | 25 | 0.22 | 1 min |
| #5 | llama | 18 | 0.27 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cardinal | +3.79 | 71 | 48 |
| #2 | GOATMOO | +2.58 | 85 | 67 |
| #3 | llama | +1.99 | 72 | 53 |
| #4 | Arthizzzle | +1.97 | 84 | 58 |
| #5 | Fox | +0.44 | 45 | 56 |





