








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 301 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 369 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Faceit | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 72 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5315 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,321 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4361 | 28% |
| Smokes | 4224 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 3240 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 3496 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,704,154 of utility $175 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 191 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kase☭ | 57% | 81 |
| #2 | Dragon Lord of the Stupid | 52% | 29 |
| #3 | Pyro Not-Crab | 49% | 274 |
| #4 | Vlotiel | 46% | 93 |
| #5 | Nymeria | 45% | 80 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kase☭ | 57% | 81 |
| #2 | Dragon Lord of the Stupid | 52% | 29 |
| #3 | Pyro Not-Crab | 49% | 274 |
| #4 | Vlotiel | 46% | 93 |
| #5 | Nymeria | 45% | 80 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pyro Not-Crab | 16 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | Nymeria | 16 | 0.0094 |
| #3 | Vlotiel | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | Kase☭ | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | Dragon Lord of the Stupid | 1 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pyro Not-Crab | 635 | 0.11 | 16 min |
| #2 | Vlotiel | 251 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #3 | Kase☭ | 159 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #4 | Nymeria | 122 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #5 | Dragon Lord of the Stupid | 6 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | co1010 | +2.18 | 68 | 68 |
| #2 | Kase☭ | +0.41 | 61 | 61 |
| #3 | Vlotiel | +0.24 | 75 | 53 |
| #4 | Pyro Not-Crab | -1.67 | 57 | 55 |
| #5 | Nymeria | -3.08 | 44 | 40 |





