








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 184 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 555 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 167 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




32 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3941 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,815 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3144 | 25% |
| Smokes | 3707 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 3977 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1987 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,794,371 of utility $210 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 163 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kase☭ | 51% | 93 |
| #2 | co1010 | 49% | 274 |
| #3 | Dragon Lord of the Stupid | 44% | 41 |
| #4 | Vlotiel | 43% | 83 |
| #5 | Nymeria | 41% | 105 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kase☭ | 51% | 93 |
| #2 | co1010 | 49% | 274 |
| #3 | Dragon Lord of the Stupid | 44% | 41 |
| #4 | Vlotiel | 43% | 83 |
| #5 | Nymeria | 41% | 105 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nymeria | 17 | 0.0077 |
| #2 | co1010 | 12 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | Vlotiel | 3 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | Kase☭ | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | Dragon Lord of the Stupid | 2 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | co1010 | 739 | 0.13 | 19 min |
| #2 | Kase☭ | 233 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #3 | Vlotiel | 230 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #4 | Nymeria | 152 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #5 | Dragon Lord of the Stupid | 3 | 0.00 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | co1010 | +2.57 | 67 | 69 |
| #2 | Kase☭ | +0.15 | 62 | 64 |
| #3 | Vlotiel | +0.14 | 71 | 54 |
| #4 | Pyro Not-Crab | -1.23 | 58 | 54 |
| #5 | Nymeria | -2.61 | 46 | 45 |





