








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 491 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 91 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1726 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,329 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1456 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1294 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1360 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1219 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $797,729 of utility $210 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | π¦πππΆπ | 58% | 12 |
| #2 | d0mi7ick | 54% | 13 |
| #3 | tumu | 50% | 12 |
| #4 | -7ls | 38% | 13 |
| #5 | DANNY | 33% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | π¦πππΆπ | 58% | 12 |
| #2 | d0mi7ick | 54% | 13 |
| #3 | tumu | 50% | 12 |
| #4 | -7ls | 38% | 13 |
| #5 | DANNY | 33% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DANNY | 3 | 0.0119 |
| #2 | d0mi7ick | 2 | 0.0074 |
| #3 | tumu | 1 | 0.0041 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DANNY | 84 | 0.33 | 3 min |
| #2 | d0mi7ick | 43 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #3 | tumu | 42 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #4 | -7ls | 33 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #5 | π¦πππΆπ | 9 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | π¦πππΆπ | +3.25 | 91 | 33 |
| #2 | tumu | +0.86 | 80 | 63 |
| #3 | d0mi7ick | +0.73 | 59 | 50 |
| #4 | DANNY | +0.62 | 67 | 69 |
| #5 | βͺ Sharp | +0.55 | 61 | 52 |





