








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 116 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 95 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1042 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,090 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 345 | 32% |
| Smokes | 206 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 167 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 372 | 34% |
Our logs show you have wasted $127,782 of utility $31 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 134 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | N2K | 51% | 83 |
| #2 | Duck | 46% | 13 |
| #3 | N1K | 45% | 11 |
| #4 | tigeronjupiter | 45% | 174 |
| #5 | Fullhart | 42% | 85 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | tigeronjupiter | 45% | 174 |
| #5 | Fullhart | 42% | 85 |
| #6 | vanjelg | 40% | 15 |
| #7 | Probation | 33% | 15 |
| #8 | yeat | 29% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tigeronjupiter | 23 | 0.0065 |
| #2 | N2K | 5 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | Fullhart | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | vanjelg | 2 | 0.0065 |
| #5 | yeat | 1 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fullhart | 225 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #2 | tigeronjupiter | 203 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #3 | N2K | 88 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #4 | yeat | 23 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| #5 | Probation | 16 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | N1K | +4.80 | 67 | 50 |
| #2 | N2K | +3.93 | 72 | 55 |
| #3 | Fullhart | +3.12 | 64 | 42 |
| #4 | Shagnus | -0.30 | 45 | 27 |
| #5 | Duck | -0.71 | 66 | 33 |





