








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 361 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 114 matches | ||
| Wingman | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 10 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




68 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2262 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,977 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1515 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1701 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2227 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 1534 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $984,298 of utility $164 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 329 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zhentis | 55% | 29 |
| #2 | Zywish | 54% | 222 |
| #3 | BarbeQ | 50% | 26 |
| #4 | 3 AM NOT DIM | 40% | 75 |
| #5 | DIM STXNCE | 38% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zhentis | 55% | 29 |
| #2 | Zywish | 54% | 222 |
| #3 | BarbeQ | 50% | 26 |
| #4 | 3 AM NOT DIM | 40% | 75 |
| #5 | DIM STXNCE | 38% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 3 AM NOT DIM | 14 | 0.0092 |
| #2 | Zywish | 4 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | DIM STXNCE | 4 | 0.0055 |
| #4 | Zhentis | 1 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | BarbeQ | 1 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zywish | 469 | 0.11 | 11 min |
| #2 | 3 AM NOT DIM | 226 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #3 | DIM STXNCE | 127 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #4 | BarbeQ | 77 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #5 | Zhentis | 60 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zhentis | +1.33 | 47 | 52 |
| #2 | DIM STXNCE | +1.30 | 42 | 48 |
| #3 | BarbeQ | +1.18 | 78 | 59 |
| #4 | Zywish | +0.89 | 60 | 51 |
| #5 | VI3 | +0.85 | 67 | 49 |





