








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 35 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 23 matches | ||
| Faceit | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
619 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,159 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 324 | 28% |
| Smokes | 199 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 380 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 256 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $276,826 of utility $184 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 11 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Dyzma | 40% | 5 |
| #7 | J3WS IN BIRQJAMAS | 40% | 15 |
| #8 | Real Man | 37% | 19 |
| #9 | Sirezz | 25% | 8 |
| #10 | Raitla | 15% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | m4ster_s1ave.aes | 5 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | Jack Merridew | 1 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | Real Man | 1 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | Avarage Mirage Enjoyer | 1 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | Raitla | 1 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | m4ster_s1ave.aes | 206 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #2 | Avarage Mirage Enjoyer | 86 | 0.24 | 2 min |
| #3 | Jack Merridew | 27 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #4 | Dyzma | 25 | 0.26 | 0 min |
| #5 | Válter Branco | 24 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dyzma | +3.95 | 75 | 42 |
| #2 | Válter Branco | +2.71 | 77 | 60 |
| #3 | m4ster_s1ave.aes | +1.08 | 56 | 43 |
| #4 | MARLOW | -0.23 | 58 | 44 |
| #5 | Avarage Mirage Enjoyer | -0.40 | 39 | 72 |





