








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 48 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 34 matches | ||
| Premier | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
867 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,755 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 702 | 19% |
| Smokes | 1098 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 704 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1251 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $210,917 of utility $37 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 8 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | mucknem | 34% | 178 |
| #3 | cheeseburgerlover420 | 32% | 22 |
| #4 | jalooper dunker | 30% | 159 |
| #5 | NETTSPENDHATER442 | 27% | 112 |
| #6 | lilswagboy2011 | 20% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mucknem | 61 | 0.0184 |
| #2 | jalooper dunker | 17 | 0.0055 |
| #3 | NETTSPENDHATER442 | 10 | 0.0045 |
| #4 | lilswagboy2011 | 2 | 0.0067 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jalooper dunker | 374 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #2 | NETTSPENDHATER442 | 288 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #3 | mucknem | 117 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #4 | cheeseburgerlover420 | 18 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| #5 | lilswagboy2011 | 15 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jalooper dunker | +3.61 | 71 | 45 |
| #2 | lilswagboy2011 | -0.22 | 29 | 24 |
| #3 | NETTSPENDHATER442 | -0.28 | 31 | 50 |
| #4 | mucknem | -1.07 | 37 | 17 |
| #5 | cheeseburgerlover420 | -1.31 | 37 | 36 |





