








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 184 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 21 matches | ||
| Wingman | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3401 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,441 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3339 | 32% |
| Smokes | 2173 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 2289 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2640 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,102,320 of utility $151 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 478 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Snow | 19 | 0.0076 |
| #2 | | 9 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | MattyPack | 7 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | CARL BE WEEZIN ?!‽ | 7 | 0.0098 |
| #5 | MistressMae (Sub to OF) | 5 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Snow | 704 | 0.28 | 22 min |
| #2 | MistressMae (Sub to OF) | 317 | 0.16 | 8 min |
| #3 | MattyPack | 165 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| #4 | -=- L$D Peek -=- | 70 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #5 | CARL BE WEEZIN ?!‽ | 28 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Snow | +4.73 | 64 | 53 |
| #2 | SSSMMOOKINN-ON-DA-MOON | +2.52 | 77 | 66 |
| #3 | -=- L$D Peek -=- | +2.17 | 67 | 32 |
| #4 | | +1.43 | 79 | 29 |
| #5 | CARL BE WEEZIN ?!‽ | -0.84 | 61 | 29 |





